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MistyE
"ur the john Coltrane of newsground animation" - SpiffyFlinger

Age 24

Musician

Earth

Joined on 3/16/10

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Yeah, I understand the decision more now than I did at the time, but just understanding the decision more now makes me almost feel like I'm betraying some of my core values here, that freedom of expression really should be without compromise... I still believe he made the choice more as a parent than as an admin, but I have no beef with the decision now. It all worked out for the better I think. Some toxic users migrated elsewhere, and the atmosphere here's really been improving overall, to the point I start to question the benefits of absolute creative freedom... is it really justified? Then again violence in certain forms of media is still crazy. It's just when tied to controversial topics that it causes an outrage. In a way i think such edginess is useful in stirring up a debate, but at the same time edginess just for the sake of being edgy... well that's just not positive. Doing good fuels good. Maybe if people live in harmony a bit more overall then the need to be edgy simply disappears; difficult topics can be approached openly, without a need to really push through with something shocking... but then again, on the flip side, that edginess seems to be a major creative drive for some people. It furthers engagement. Too calm becomes almost apathetic. Aaah, I don't know any longer! XD So many conflicting thoughts in regard to these changes.

Yupp, ties in well to my second comment there. :) I agree. So much creative greatness here some days it's just incredible. I'm pretty impressed each time I stumble upon a (to me at least) new idea too. Feels like there should be some limit, or some pattern as to the alternations people can make on the same topic that makes it feel used already, but there's still so much newness in circulation...

Hey thank you. :) Happy to hear the positivity reaches that far, though of course can't really put myself in your shoes. Just hope you keep fighting the good fight though! In the end: no regrets! Living life the fullest possible! In a positive way.

Man that's pretty massive, and not just by NG standards! Double the goal too! :D Congrats! Hmm yeah, it's that edgier content people want to see huh. I can see how that'd be a consideration. Honestly I'd lean more towards A and B, considering it's a person rather than a publication that you're commenting on, but so far it seems you've done so in a respectful way, so personally I'm OK with that form of content. It's interesting, educating, and had a form of drama that's a bit more personal or relatable somehow in that it's not about anything superficial, but something real. A real person. And it feels relevant in that it's bringing forth issues that affect a broader mass of people.

With reviews on content I'm always a bit divided as I, on the one hand, am interested of other people's opinions, but on the other feel like it's a misuse of time listening to opinions on a form of content I might as well consume directly, and might also like to derive my own opinions of right away. I usually don't watch trailers as I'd rather be surprised. I'd rather go into any new form of media without any prerequisite knowledge of it, but sometimes I do get tempted anyway, and read up, or build up a hype if it's a franchise I follow, all the while knowing that all this research I'm doing won't actually contribute to my overall enjoyment of this particular media, but possibly instead build up the hype so much I'm actually disappointed when i consume it.

Then again, in a way that journey is often a large part of the goal. The hype of positivity and expectation. And with YT reviews there's usually more to it than just the review. Entertaining narrative. Fun facts you might not get elsewhere.

So, bit mixed views there for me. I rarely watch content-based reviews in general, but make exceptions for some people more so because it's fun to watch those particular people. I feel commentaries of the sort you're making here really offer something more concrete in that regard. But maybe I'd think differently if I was more involved with whatever platform or channel you comment on... not sure. Though, anyway, I've definitely seen them more as informative than degrading (I mean not at all), and it definitely seems to be a good practice for getting views! Whatever you choose to bridge out to if you do will be fun to see too. I get the impression pretty much anything works well with your style of narrative and aptitude to really research beforehand.

I agree with what you said about Tom making the decision from a parent's perspective, but I can also see why it'd make you feel like you're betraying your core values. To me it's almost kind of symbolic of how long Newgrounds has been around. Almost two decades ago, Tom represented the edgy young guy, and NG largely attracted that audience. But 20 years down the line, he's a man with a family to take care of. While it is, in a sense, contradictory to the original values the site was built on, I would consider his actions more of an evolution than a betrayal, personally.

I can definitely understand your mixed feelings on content reviews. Sometimes they can be pretty pointless, since they're just opinion pieces that are secondary to the original content, but sometimes I feel like they can provide an interesting perspective/insight on a piece of media that can start a discussion. Not always a necessary one, but it's at least amusing to me.

YouTube recently recommended me a video called "The Psychology of Depression - How to Ruin Your Life." Although I wouldn't consider myself depressed, it did make me reflect on the current state of my life. The main gist of the video was that people can fall into a state of depression if they attach too much of their self worth to a single thing. An example the video used was someone who fully invests themselves in an all-or-nothing goal, and never reaches it.

My situation is a bit different since I set an all-or-nothing goal that I actually ended up reaching, but still felt a bit empty afterwards. And it kind of made me realize that I've attached so much of my self worth to the things I create. I think it's unhealthy, but at the same time, I'm not sure what else I would put that towards. Morals are personal and important, but it kind of feels weird to say, "I am worth something because of what I choose to value." I think this is where something like personal faith and religion comes in.

So much of my life revolves around consuming content, creating content, and thinking about content. I feel like I'm super glued to the grid. And that's why I find it impressive and inspiring in a way that you were able to stay off the grid for that long. It's a hard thing to pull off.

Indeed, I think it was the mature way to go about it too... and maybe I still wasn't that mature when all of that went down. Not ready for the change. If the Sandy Hook game had never happened I wonder if we'd have taken the same route, if content would've naturally grown along with the userbase, and audience, the same users would've left the site anyway but with less drama... we'll never know now of course. Maybe the game getting taken down really sped up the process, and maybe that's why everything went so well in the end. Feeling like I betray my core values thinking such things though... I think it's not much about me missing the edgy part of the site as just feeling like people should still have the freedom to be edgy. Everything by Everyone, right? Total freedom. It seems idyllic, but maybe it just doesn't work so well in practice after all. Do you remember your thoughts when all this was going down btw? Which side were you on at that time? :P

That's true too, they make a material thing a social thing. Just gotta weigh the time/benefit a bit I guess. There's so much good stuff to partake in, and content reviews just usually come secondary to me.

Huh... I wonder if I might be doing something like that... it's never all or nothing but it IS investing heavily, and often in goals I don't seem to ever complete... that goal you were going for, was that something you've shared publicly? Overcoming the disease? Subscription goal...?

You do hear artists time and time again say that they ARE their art. That it's everything to them. I've considered that a sign of conviction more than anything else, an admirable trait, that someone really chooses to go for something specific so whole-heartedly when I myself keep trying to take multiple parallel paths (and not getting very far with any one of them), but that was an interesting theory... I do think morals are important, not just because they give us purpose but more so because it's the framework for a working social order. Some claim anarchy would be a working order too, that we'd be able to get along even without all these unnecessary laws to govern us but eh... not sure. With common moral values it is easier to co-exist though, and strive for great things together. Help out. Do good. I think people ARE inherently good too, but this is kind of spinning off the subject, moving back... regarding personal value: you'd rather put your all towards your art than towards morals? I don't think they're really distinguishable that way. Morals are what make us who we are, while we make whatever else we make of our lives. But becoming a better person: that does seem like a good thing to strive for too. Still doesn't seem like you'd need to sacrifice one or the other though. Personal growth comes from accomplishment as well as experience I think, so whatever you focus on that'll come with it for free, if you just go about whatever you go about the right way, no? I mean even if you go all in on the creative branch you'll have to go about that branch in a way that grows your personality. Man, this was hard to explain... hope you sorta get what I'm getting at here. Alternate version of this response, the thing I was about to post first: Did you know that everyone believes they're just a little bit better/smarter/wiser than everyone else? It's just how we work, apparently. :)

Hmm yes, it does break the one focus that occasional gridlessness. I can't imagine living any other way at this point. One of my best buddies is trying to get me to take a one-week trip to Japan right now, but that'd be one week I can't spend up North, as I usually do... just doesn't feel like I want to sacrifice it. It's fun to travel abroad for a weekend or so, but the summer phase is almost like a holy thing... very much thanks to the family though. I was born into it. Do wonder how I'd be if we'd spent our vacations like normal people. I mean normal people seem to do alright too but I feel like I'm part of something special there. Like being an NG supporter. Like I'm in touch with the core values. Of life, you know... anyway it's definitely great to take a break when you can. Go in a pilgrimage. Figure things out.

Regarding your arts though: do you have a goal? Maybe reevaluate why you want to accomplish what you do, so you know that it's not an aimless pursuit, like reviewing movies just to get a lot of reviews (I do question some things I do...)? Wether it's to make a living off of it (that'd be a pretty awesome way to live) or something even greater it might be good to know. Might give a renewed sense of accomplishment that way, even if it is the one thing you pour your all into. Might have to watch that video though...

I think at the time I actually sided with Tom! Putting myself in his shoes, it must be a tough decision to make!

I'd say the goal I set for myself was mainly one based on stats: 4,000 before the end of the year. At the time that was more than double what I had, and reaching it would prove to myself that I could reach any goal I set my mind to.

Ah, I think I might not have phrased the thing about morals as well as I could've. I definitely believe they're very important, and I try to live by a certain set of them. I think what I meant to say is, someone could have the most moral, conscious beliefs, but if they didn't actually do anything productive or help others, then their beliefs and values didn't really mean anything. And I think typing that out made me realize that maybe the problem is I put too much of my self-worth into my work, when I could be doing other things such as providing value to others.

Yeah, we all tend to think we're better/smarter/wiser than everyone else! I think there is a positive side to this though, because it can provide necessary momentum for doing something big. The difference between confidence and overconfidence has always been something I struggled with.

I'd definitely like to at least make what I do into a side income, but I'd also like to help others and provide value. Not sure how, but I'll figure it out.

Well you've always been surprisingly mature for your age. ;) Yeah, it must be... he was getting so much bad karma for it too. Glad he pulled through.

Ah, alright, and you made it... maybe the emptiness is a bit in part that you've realized you can actually do anything you set your mind too, then? Like you've figured out the formula. Like it was easier than you thought. That you might not really have to fight for it from now on...? Hearing a lot of celebrities reflect on how after they reached a certain point they lost motivation, since it just felt like they'd gotten where they wanted to go. What's next at that point? Gotta keep pushing further I guess; zooming in on goals just out of reach to keep that momentum.

Aha! Alright, yeah that's very different to how I understood your earlier bit. :) I'd say you do help others through your work though. You enlighten and educate. You're a role model in terms of researching the topics you present, and staying active even when the odds stack up against you, like you should in life. Keep fighting. Don't know what morals you'd like to strive to apply more in real life, but some of them definitely shine through with your creative drive! I've always felt like music in particular is a really powerful force in helping people, both in bringing forth emotions and some kind of energy that keeps apathy and misery at bay, but also great at punching out important messages. But yeah, if you feel like the stuff you're doing now isn't all the way through positive, maybe that's why you feel like that?

For sure. And knowing about it allows you to have a certain level of humility too, or just perspective. I don't know, it's strange that even as you think you're just a little bit better, knowing that you're just thinking that, it almost feels like you believe yourself to be a bit better even more, since you're aware that you're really not... but still feel that way. XD I'm not sure I've struggled with overconfidence myself, only confidence, but though I'm not confident in all my abilities I still feel confident in my reasoning. There's a big divide between what I feel about what I do and what I feel about what I think. More so IRL, anyway. I think my nephew's going through that same struggle as you though, he's also a big fan of film, and just jumped out of collage to produce one (a short one, but it's a big thing still, sponsorships and everything). Everyone's supportive of his efforts and you can kinda see that it's rising to his head... great guy though. But that confidence: too high. If things don't turn out as everyone seems to be telling him they will it'll probably be pretty depressing... then again confidence is the power to move mountains.Maybe that's what you really need to really get the furthest you can.

Hope you figure out a way to do both doing what you love to do! :) Art's very reflective of who you are so it seems possible.

That very well could be a factor in why I lost a bit of drive - knowing how it's done. I'd imagine it's the same reason why a lot of bands / musicians tend to get worse over time too. Once they reach a certain level of fame, depending on the person it can take away a big part of the incentive.

That's a great point about music being a healing force. I think the same can be said about other mediums too, gaming, film, etc. I always found it fascinating just how much media can influence the mood and mindset of a person.

I've found that there's also people who struggle between both under-confidence and overconfidence. I've heard it been said that low self-esteem itself is a form of pride, because the idea is that it stems from self obsession, just on the opposite end of things. I myself don't know how much I believe it, but it's an interesting thought at least.

Yeah it really seems to be like that! Some just keep pushing further no matter what. Some diversify. Some don't, and that's as far as they get.

So true. Gotta be selective about what you consume as to best benefit yourself too.

You know that might very well be true. I don't have particularly high self-esteem in social situations, but I am proud of the differences this allows for; how I'm not part of the same social order as all those around me because of this. Really interesting idea there. Wouldn't say I¨m overconfident either but this'll lead to some new contemplation's for sure... you find strength in your weaknesses, maybe? I see a lot of handicapped people grow overly confident too, but in a good way. Maybe it's the hardships they go through the lead them there. Basically: the hardships of low confidence strengthen confidence...? Well, maybe moving away from the base idea now but: interesting.

Regarding content consumption - absolutely. I'd say that it's actually more important than some people give it credit. Obviously in excess (i.e. playing games or watching anime all day) then it's detrimental, but at the same time 'inspiration' has a very important role that it fills.

A bit unrelated but I know there have been some YouTubers who have done bits where they play some random Newgrounds games, and I think I'm gonna do that for a vid! My concept was originally checking out the lowest rated flash games, but ever since Tom changed the voting system, the scores have just been all over the place. It's kind of a bizarre change actually, I never would've anticipated it. But I'm already finding some interesting stuff. Kind of trippy when you realize that almost 19 years of content is stored on this website, y'know? Gives me kind of a cozy feeling.

That's true too. Depending what on what you do these days consumption habits that are deemed detrimental by the main part of the populace aren't always that bad either; you can make a living off of basically investing all your time in consuming media. Probably still detrimental on a health-related level but... it's pretty cool. And crazy. Crazy world.

Yeah, I remember a French guy in particular who set out with the goal to play all games submitted here during a whole year. :) I don't think he actually managed but that was a nice highlight that year. And good promotion for both him/the site. Yeah... closing in on 20, wonder what grand celebrations that might make way for next year... it is massive. It's like a life work. I feel like such a large part of my past is on here too.

Anyway, video idea: sounds like something I'll look forward to seeing. :) Sorting by lowest score might've made for some really tasteless games prior to this change too btw, hope you find some real gems!

I never knew that MistyEntertainment and Christopher Tom were the same person.