It's probably most of what I've been thinking about lately - more specifically, making music.
Not trying to whine about anything here, just sharing some struggles I've been having, to see if anyone has input.
Although I've been getting better at having fun with it, I'm kind of at a stage where the work starts to feel more tedious and chore-like than a passion project or fun self-expression. Don't get me wrong, I understand the value of doing the boring stuff. Hell, I was an animator for years.
But at some point, it all goes back to the "why" - why am I investing so much time doing this? Well, to get a good track of course. But once I've got a good track, it's kinda like, now what? I see making music as something I do for myself, but having an audience also matters, and I've been struggling to get one. I also feel like I don't really get the feeling of accomplishment or happiness that some other artists might get when they finish something big. So, the music doesn't really work as a purely self-serving hobby because I don't really feel that much satisfaction from finishing a song. And it doesn't really work for an audience because there needs to be a cohesive audience in the first place.
Hell, I've even taken online courses for this and the advice for social media marketing is a dead end. I've done some experimenting with Facebook ads to minimal results, A/B testing different things and all, but I can't tell if it's just not a worthwhile investment or if I just haven't tested enough. Some of the advice is really wack - mass following people on Twitter? Posting images with quotes of my own lyrics? No thanks.
I also haven't really found a good community for this yet. With art and animation, there are lots of cohesive communities centered around it because at the end of the day, although the approach might differ, everyone is there to do one thing: draw, or animate. Music, on the other hand, is such a broad topic that encompasses everything from gear to songwriting to producing to performing, etc. so it makes sense that I'm having a hard time finding a community that is relevant to me. Then again, I might not be looking hard enough.
With all of this being said - things are definitely getting better for me and I'm getting better too. My chemo is done in July already! I'm looking forward to learning how to walk again (the tumor messed up my balance). Looking forward to being able to eat solid food without getting so nauseous. Man I can't wait to enjoy chicken again. I can't wait until I can eat food again without having to take minute-long breaks between bites so I don't puke. The end is getting closer and closer.
If you've made it this far, thank you. I appreciate ya hearing me out.
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